Empathy in a Cynical Society

A couple days ago, President Obama paid a visit to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware to witness the return of 15 war dead. When asked the President claimed that certainly such sights were going to influence how he sees the war in Afghanistan. While I don't know if Obama is going to be able to tie things up well in Iraq or Afghanistan or not, because ending a war with a decent outcome is among the hardest things a political leader can ever do. And because in our society there is a very strong faction and cultural attitude in many quarters, that plays into the idea that the US can achieve victories in these sorts of wars if only the country sorts of sticks together and doesn't show any "weakness" in the form of dissent within. Also the idea that ending a war constitutes a betrayal of the troops (ei. "Didn't let us win."), is deeply woven into post-Vietnam War America. Unfortunately, these factors are going to heavily influence what Obama is likely to accomplish and how portions of the public will react to it.

But looking at this reminds me of how certain debates are played out in America. One thing it brings to mind is the President's use of the word "empathy" in the context of choosing a Supreme Court Justice. Many peoples, especially those on the right, pounced on Obama for suggesting that empathy was an important quality. Indeed much of the debate about Sotomayor and her "wise Latina" comment boils down to a common idea in modern society: that empathy is entirely about having the same/similar set of life experiences, versus the competing idea that empathy is a sort of weakness-and is usually seen as "feminine". And indeed those are the dominant two assumptions in a society where cynicism runs rampant. Although science has found some unexpected correlates with empathy, most people hold more philosophical concepts of empathy. Some people either sincerely or cynically conflate this ability with a person who is very emotional, lacks reasoning abilities, and is often seen as weak. The other mostly cynical concept is the view that people can only empathize with those who are pretty much exactly like themselves, and to say otherwise is to talk nonsense. However, real world psychologists define lack of empathy as a mental illness, and the prevalence of such people in the human race creates a wide variety of problems from petty crime to local tyrants to genocide and so much in between.

Another thing that this President's reaction to seeing 18 caskets underscores for me is the contrast to his predecessor who often visited wounded soldiers and once brought a Thanksgiving Turkey to soldiers in Iraq, but who never considered the fact he might be wrong to have started the war in Iraq. Above all Bush never expressed any remorse over the uncounted numbers of Iraqis who died in his war. None at all. And many people blamed Bush's sitting out the war in Vietnam for this.

And yet, seeing 18 caskets appeared to have a very real effect on Obama, as hard as it is to determine how that will translate into action. While I'm making no predictions on that score, I doubt that John McCain would have reacted the same way. Although during election 2008, people tried to make so much out of his POW status. And those who knew the man was a hard core hawk with a terrible temper a special explanation was often sought, for why someone who had been in a war would be so eager to wage another one.

As I've written before, the last thing I would want to imply is that there are any easy answers here. But one thing is certain. In our cynical society, any concept of empathy that isn't either seen as a weakness or as an almost political "scorecard" is likely to be dismissed out of hand or even looked upon as insulting. In fact, I consider it a major commentary on our society that empathy was rarely seriously studied outside the area of gender roles, until an autism epidemic, an obsession with serial killers, and an increased awareness of the prevalence of sociopathic persons almost forced us to invest more serious resources in that direction.

So to what extent do we need empathetic leaders? Often of course, empathy has been considered a liability. And certainly, I spent as much time as anyone not paid to do so, making fun of Clinton's "I feel your pain" approach during the 90's. Perhaps more than most Republicans. But one thing we clearly don't want in a parent, police officer, mayor, CEO, or President, is the complete lack of response to humanity who has either held one or more of these positions or have at least been "considered" for them.

That much is certain.

Say Goodnight Readers